OurMike’s Mad Adventure
Let me start this out by saying that Mike is my oldest and best friend. I met him in November of 1963 in the Navy. He was unique from day one, and I guess I must have been too, as we became instant brothers of insane semi-anarchy.
Mike has done everything, but is a fine and honest good patriot. He and Marsha came to Deming, NM from Bisbee AZ., for a pleasant visit. We had a couple of beers and a light lunch at the Adobe Deli. During our highly intelligent and articulate discussions, we determined an unsatisfied need to cross the border into Palomas, Chihuahua Mex. to acquire some international spirits. And so we did, and began our trek back to Deming. About half way, we were required to stop at the standard, usual Border Patrol check. No problem, done this a thousand times. Most times just waved on. Not this time. An extremely vigilant Border Patrol dog was intrigued by the rear of Mike’s macho Prius. We were requested to advance to secondary inspection. Oh crap! What’s going on???
At this point, allow me to regress for a second before I complete the point. Mike was an Operating Engineer for the Alyeska Pipeline Company for 21 years. He retired from there many moons ago, but recent conditions have opened some opportunities for short term temporary employment for some retirees. In the process of applying for one of these positions, he was required to endure a grueling diet and organic system detoxification program which involved a strict diet of non-food groups, an absence of the human consumable goodies, and the addition of some anti-toxin capsules.
Meanwhile, back at the sniffer dog, and the secondary inspection, this highly sensitive canine had, with the engine running, smelled something suspicious through the sealed trunk, through a thermos sealed ice chest, through a zip lock sealed bag next to a half of a cooked turkey, through a med sealed medicine bottle, something wrong? Yes, these were the purifying, toxin removing capsules. The head Border Patrolman, looking at the bottles, requested Mike to surrender samples, which Mike was very happy to do. The very professional and polite Officer Escobar subjected the capsules to an on hand chem. Lab test. The test was done right in front of us, and the officer informed us that if the capsules contained any THC or cocaine or other synthetic drug, that the packet would fizz up and change color. Both packets fizzed up and changed color. One was determined to contain THC, and the other either cocaine or some synthetic drug. Because of his pleasant demeanor, we thought he was kidding with us, at which point he assured us that he didn’t kid about such matters. Holy grass! How did we wind up in this fix? #1- the Officers informed us that we were either real brave, or real dumb to go across the border, and #2- that I bought crappy tequila to boot. We were assured that these officers knew if they were dealing with criminal types or not. And that we were lucky they did, because with the same evidence, if they thought we were suspicious, they would confiscate the car, and send us to prison awaiting further investigation. Thank God I look like such a virgin.
Mike was feeling a little violated by the on-line pharmacy that had sold him these capsules. He had even shared the paperwork received with the capsules, with the Officers. Mike wanted to carry this a step further with the on-line pharmacy, and asked the Officer for a documented report of the findings. The Officer said sure, but he would be required to make a Federal Case of it, in other words, confiscate the pills and the car, and jail us pending further investigation. Mike instantaneously indicated his flexibility on the matter, and rescinded his request for a report.
We returned to our campsite in Deming, had a couple of cold beers and some cheap-ass tequila from Mexico, and got real serious about how this might have turned out.
Let me start this out by saying that Mike is my oldest and best friend. I met him in November of 1963 in the Navy. He was unique from day one, and I guess I must have been too, as we became instant brothers of insane semi-anarchy.
Mike has done everything, but is a fine and honest good patriot. He and Marsha came to Deming, NM from Bisbee AZ., for a pleasant visit. We had a couple of beers and a light lunch at the Adobe Deli. During our highly intelligent and articulate discussions, we determined an unsatisfied need to cross the border into Palomas, Chihuahua Mex. to acquire some international spirits. And so we did, and began our trek back to Deming. About half way, we were required to stop at the standard, usual Border Patrol check. No problem, done this a thousand times. Most times just waved on. Not this time. An extremely vigilant Border Patrol dog was intrigued by the rear of Mike’s macho Prius. We were requested to advance to secondary inspection. Oh crap! What’s going on???
At this point, allow me to regress for a second before I complete the point. Mike was an Operating Engineer for the Alyeska Pipeline Company for 21 years. He retired from there many moons ago, but recent conditions have opened some opportunities for short term temporary employment for some retirees. In the process of applying for one of these positions, he was required to endure a grueling diet and organic system detoxification program which involved a strict diet of non-food groups, an absence of the human consumable goodies, and the addition of some anti-toxin capsules.
Meanwhile, back at the sniffer dog, and the secondary inspection, this highly sensitive canine had, with the engine running, smelled something suspicious through the sealed trunk, through a thermos sealed ice chest, through a zip lock sealed bag next to a half of a cooked turkey, through a med sealed medicine bottle, something wrong? Yes, these were the purifying, toxin removing capsules. The head Border Patrolman, looking at the bottles, requested Mike to surrender samples, which Mike was very happy to do. The very professional and polite Officer Escobar subjected the capsules to an on hand chem. Lab test. The test was done right in front of us, and the officer informed us that if the capsules contained any THC or cocaine or other synthetic drug, that the packet would fizz up and change color. Both packets fizzed up and changed color. One was determined to contain THC, and the other either cocaine or some synthetic drug. Because of his pleasant demeanor, we thought he was kidding with us, at which point he assured us that he didn’t kid about such matters. Holy grass! How did we wind up in this fix? #1- the Officers informed us that we were either real brave, or real dumb to go across the border, and #2- that I bought crappy tequila to boot. We were assured that these officers knew if they were dealing with criminal types or not. And that we were lucky they did, because with the same evidence, if they thought we were suspicious, they would confiscate the car, and send us to prison awaiting further investigation. Thank God I look like such a virgin.
Mike was feeling a little violated by the on-line pharmacy that had sold him these capsules. He had even shared the paperwork received with the capsules, with the Officers. Mike wanted to carry this a step further with the on-line pharmacy, and asked the Officer for a documented report of the findings. The Officer said sure, but he would be required to make a Federal Case of it, in other words, confiscate the pills and the car, and jail us pending further investigation. Mike instantaneously indicated his flexibility on the matter, and rescinded his request for a report.
We returned to our campsite in Deming, had a couple of cold beers and some cheap-ass tequila from Mexico, and got real serious about how this might have turned out.
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